


I've Gone Identity Mad

by kryptonianmenace



Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Genre: M/M, Use of the f slur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24426526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryptonianmenace/pseuds/kryptonianmenace
Summary: Everyone goes through the Change. Or do they?Wally Beetles has to navigate hiding the fact that he was never decommissioned, seeing his old friends for the first time in a year, and getting bullied for a sexuality he's still figuring out. It's rough, but he can manage it. It's worth it to get his friends back.
Relationships: Wallabee Beetles/Hoagie Pennywhistle Gilligan Jr.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Grace Kelly by MIKA.  
> Rewrite of Identity by Quicquidlibet on fanfiction.net (my old account).  
> I inexplicably jump from narrating from 3rd person to Rachel's POV for some reason????? IDK just go with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited because I almost forgot Maurice.

Everyone knows about the Change. It happens when you turn thirteen. You lose all your childhood memories and experience a change in personality. Apparently, kids know of the Change too, but they have a different name for it. I've heard them call it 'decommissioning.' Rumor has it, kids were even the _cause_ of it. That they wiped your mind clean on your birthday. Well, not completely. You still remember people's names and whatever you learned in school, but you don't remember anything else, not even your friends. The Change is when you're first considered a teenager. Everyone knows about the Change. Mainly because it happens to everyone. Everybody but a select few.

I am one of them.

I am Rachel T. McKenzie, Numbuh Three-Sixty-Two of the Teens Next Door, former Soopreme Leaduh of the Kids Next Door.

The Kids Next Door is an organization of kids designed to battle adult tyranny. The Teens Next Door is the exclusive part of the KND for teenage operatives who proved their loyalty before turning thirteen. TND operatives later end up adult spies. Other teens believe the TND exists to solve teenage problems and know nothing of their connection to the KND. TND missions are missions too dangerous for kids to handle. There is only one sector in the TND right now, stationed at McClintock High because it is the center of adult tyranny at the moment. There are only five TND operatives at the moment, but we have recently looked into recommissioning an old KND sector.

Sector V. The best of the best. Better than even the KND founder, Numbuh Zero. Sector V consisted of Numbuhs One through Five. Numbuh One was Nigel Uno, the leader, son of the legendary Numbuh Zero and nephew of Father, the KND's worst enemy. Numbuh Two was Hoagie Gilligan, the two by four expert and older brother of The Tommy, one of the KND's greatest allies. Numbuh Three was Kuki Sanban, the divisionary tactics expert and the once-leading expert on Rainbow Monkeys. Numbuh Four was Wally Beetles, the only member of Sector V to be accepted into the TND and the KND's best fighter. Numbuh Five was Abby Lincoln, the Soopreme Leaduh after me and the younger sister of Cree, the leader of the KND's enemies called the Teen Ninjas.

KND command arranged to have Numbuh One sent back to live in England after his decommissioning, while Numbuh Two went to Texas, Numbuh Three went back to Japan, and Numbuh Five went back to France. Numbuh Four would have been sent back to Australia if he hadn't been accepted into the TND.

As secret operatives, we had to act like we really had been through the Change even though we hadn't. We had to create our own teenage personas.

Since I was alert and commanding as a kid, I had to act ditzy and complacent now that I was a teen. Numbuh Eighty-Six, or Fanny Fulbright, was a loud boy-hater as a kid, so she had to act like a flirt despite the fact that she still hated boys. Numbuh Sixty, or Patton Drilovsky, was stern and harsh as a kid, so he became laid back. He and Fanny had come to an uneasy truce in the beginning that he would pretend to be her boyfriend so she wouldn't have to flirt with every guy, but had eventually ended up dating for real. Numbuh Nine, or Maurice Payton, was determined and kind, so he became snobbish and laidback. He worked undercover in the Teen Ninjas and only came to team meetings when absolutely necessary. Numbuh Two-Seventy-Four, or Chad Dickson, was known amongst kids and teens for skipping the decommissioning process, so his personality didn’t change a whole lot, but for the adults watching who didn’t know, he went from being involved in every club to being a lazy punk. He was the oldest of us TND operatives, but he was thought to have gone missing with Numbuh Infinity, so he stayed in the hideout unless we needed him to go undercover. But Numbuh Four, or Wally, probably had the most difficult persona yet, mainly because he was the worst actor.

"She told you that?" I asked him over video call on the day of his decommissioning. He was the last of his sector to turn thirteen by a whole two months. It had only been a month since the beginning of the school year and he was currently telling me what Sammi Benners, the most popular girl in our school, had told him this morning.

For most people, the Change was taboo, since it happened to everyone and you couldn’t help it. The KND even put non-operatives through the decommissioning process so that they would undergo the Change. The operation was thorough. It was part of society and you didn’t talk about people’s personality when it came to the change.

Unless, that is, you were Sammi Benners and you were bullying one Wally Beetles.

"Yeah," he mumbled angrily. I stayed silent for a few seconds before continuing.

"She shouldn’t have said that to you," I told him. He scowled.

“I don’t need your pity,” he said.


	2. Chapter 2

Wallabee Beetles used to be a bully. He used to get rough and tumble dirty in the muck and mud. He once ripped apart his crush’s stuffed animal because it annoyed him too much. He chased hamsters for stealing his soda. He attacked first, asked questions later. He didn’t cower from fights.

Wally Beetles didn’t do  _ nice. _

Yet here he was, channeling his inner Kuki Sanban, and smiling at everyone he met as he left the decommissioning headquarters.

“Oh my gosh, look at that!” he exclaimed, pulling at his binds to look at a random operative they passed. “That guy has a funny looking hat!”

Alright, if he had to admit it, this was somewhat fun, getting to yank his guard duty around while he got ‘distracted’ by every little thing he saw. He was going to miss the Moonbase, and this was his last chance to really take it in. Even if it was under the pretense of an oblivious teenager looking around, he would take any chance he could get.

“Quiet, teenager! Keep moving,” the KND operative behind him hissed, shoving a mustard gun in his back.

Humming out a tune he remembered Kuki always singing, he swung his bound hands idly as he walked peacefully in the middle of his guards. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, he really got into the song, swaying along to the tune as he walked.

“Where are we going?” he asked when the song was over, already knowing the answer but playing it up so as not to seem suspicious.

“You’re headed back home, your Change is over,” one of the guards said.

“Woah, that was the Change?” Wally asked. “Cool!”

“Only a teenager would think the Change is cool,” another guard muttered with a scoff. 

Wally ignored her, mainly to keep from starting an argument or from giving himself away. As much as Wally would love to commiserate about the decommissioning process with her, he couldn’t without giving away the fact that he wasn’t decommissioned.

“I hope I make lots of new friends!” he said, instead. He continued to babble on about things he ‘looked forward to’ about his post-Change life, causing all his guards to groan and roll their eyes. When he ran out of things to say, he just started repeating himself, not caring if he looked stupid or sounded annoying.

Finally, he was shoved in a transport shuttle to be sent back to Earth, the guards all too happy to see him go. He smiled goofily at the crew of the shuttle, waving at them as they scowled at him.


	3. Chapter 3

I watched as Wally entered class the first day after his supposed decommissioning. That’s right, we had classes together, the boy just forgot because he thought I was some ignorant teenager.

But now that we’re both in the know about the TND, it comes in handy. We can exchange information during class, if needed.

Wally showed up in a pink hoodie instead of his usual orange one - a nice touch, not part of the original plan.

He hesitated in the doorway, accidentally blocking Sammi.

“Move it, Beetles.”

“Oh, sorry, Sammi!” Wally exclaimed as he jumped out of the way. “I was just trying to remember where I sit. It is Sammi, right?”

Sammi rolled her eyes. “We don’t have assigned seating in this class, remember?”

“Oh, whoops,” Wally said, laughing it off awkwardly.

“You can sit by me, Wally!” I said, waving him over.

Wally visibly lit up as he practically bounced over. “Hi! Rachel, right?”

Before I could respond, I heard Sammi’s best friend Annee groan. “Great, now there’s two of them.”

Wally tensed momentarily, but before he could respond, I distracted him.

Clapping excitedly, I put on my best upbeat voice and continued speaking. “So, you had your Change yesterday, so you probably don’t remember a lot of stuff, but don’t you worry, the Fix It Gang can help you readjust.”

“The Fix It Gang?” Wally asked.

The Fix It Gang was the cover name for the TND, so no one caught on to the fact that we were connected to the KND, but Wally already knew that. What he didn’t know was our official cover story that we gave to other teens. I launched into a brief explanation of our cover story just before class started, successfully distracting him from Sammi and Annee.


	4. Chapter 4

Contrary to popular belief, Wally Beetles was actually very smart. The moments where he came across as stupid stemmed from him not being given the full information, his dyslexia, his ADHD, or a combination of the three.

So when he found a slur written on his backpack in sharpie marker, he knew it was related to the comment Samantha Benners had made to him on his thirteenth birthday, combined with his choice to wear pink after his supposed decommissioning.

He also knew she believed he didn’t remember it. And he wasn’t supposed to remember it. That was the whole point of her saying it before his Change.

So instead of confronting her, he reported it to the teachers, meekly saying he had no idea who could have done it.

Rachel offered to use TND technology to hack into the security cameras to prove it was Sammi, but Wally turned her down.

“If the school doesn’t find it on their own, it’ll be suspicious that we know to look for Sammi. Just leave it be,” he said.

“This is the second time she’s called you the f slur, Wally,” Rachel protested.

Wally waved her off. “Leave it be.”

His parents were concerned when they saw his backpack, worried about their son getting bullied. Wally did his best to reassure them, but with having to keep up his new persona, it wasn’t very reassuring.

Sammi and her friends smirked when Wally showed up with a new backpack the next day.


	5. Chapter 5

“Alright, team, listen up,” Chad announced. “We have important news.”

Wally spun on his chair in the hideout, not paying attention, while Patton and Fanny settled on the couch. I pulled up an extra chair from where we kept the desks and got ready for the briefing.

“Numbuh Four, you’re gonna want to pay attention,” Chad said.

Sighing, Wally, turned to face forward. “Aye, aye, captain.”

“Big news from KND headquarters,” Chad said. “They’re considering recommissioning more teens to expand the Teens Next Door.”

“They can do that?” Patton asked.

“Aye, I’ve recommissioned people before,” Fanny said. “Like when  _ someone _ had Sector V decommissioned early,” she added, glaring at Chad.

Wally grinned, covering his face so Chad wouldn’t see, as Chad coughed awkwardly.

“Um, funny enough, the… uh… first phase of teens is actually the old Sector V,” Chad said, rubbing the back of his neck. “They’ll be sent back here so we can vet them, decide if they’re trustworthy now.”

The team sat in stunned silence.

“Remember, they’re our friends, but we have to be impartial when we decide if they’re worthy of recommissioning,” Chad added.


	6. Chapter 6

“Get out of our locker room, fag,” Dylan called out to Wally.

Wally hunched in on himself, determined to ignore the jock. 

Luckily, the other boys tended to not get physical with their bullying when it came to the locker room. Maybe it had something to do with the gym teacher staying in the attached office until they were all done changing. Maybe they just didn’t care enough about him to put in the effort.

Either way, it didn’t prepare Wally for the sound of a punch behind him.

“Hey, shut the fuck up, you bigoted prick,” said the assailant.

Turning, Wally gaped as he barely recognized Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr. standing with bloody knuckles in front of a Dylan with a bloody nose.

Hoagie had  _ piercings _ and a  _ faux-hawk _ and a  _ leather jacket _ and  _ bloody knuckles. _

“He’s got every right to be in here, you piece of shit,” Hoagie hissed.

“What are you, some sort of fag lover?” Dylan snapped.

“Yeah, actually, and I don’t appreciate you throwing slurs around, so get them out of your mouth or I’ll punch them out of you,” Hoagie said.

Dylan stormed off in a huff, searching for a towel to wipe the blood from his nose, and Hoagie turned to Wally.

“Hey, you ok? I’m Hoagie,” he said.

“Oh, uh, I’m Wally,” Wally stuttered. “That was… um… thanks?”

“No problem. I hate shit like that, so when I heard what that fucker was saying, I couldn’t let it slide,” Hoagie said.

“You’re lucky the teacher didn’t catch you fighting,” Wally said.

Hoagie shrugged. “I’ve been in trouble for worse. It’s always been worth it.”

“You’re new, right?” Wally asked.


	7. Chapter 7

“Hoagie Gilligan is a badass now,” Wally said.

I turned away from my desk in our hideout, smirking at him. “Oh?”

“He punched Dylan for me, Rachel. It was fantastic,” Wally said.

“Dylan is harassing you again?” I asked, frowning.

“It doesn’t matter, because Hoagie is my new knight in shining armor,” Wally said, flopping down on the couch. “And yes, that was meant to sound gay, cos I’m pretty sure this is my gay awakening.” He paused. “I’m mostly kidding about the gay thing, I just think he’s cool.”

I laughed. “You don’t need a knight in shining armor, Wally. You can take care of yourself.”

He stuck his tongue out at me. “I know, but it’s the principal of the matter. I like when my friends stand up for me.”

“That’s cute,” I said.

“That’s my Change personality, baby,” he said, shooting me finger guns. “Cute is what I am now.”

I had to laugh. Wally was growing into his new persona well, no longer struggling with it like he did in the beginning, but it was still funny to see if you remembered him from before.

Before I could respond, there was a knock on the hideout door.

The hideout was a run down abandoned pizza joint that we turned into our headquarters. Unlike a KND treehouse, there was no place for operatives to stay the night, but there were basic necessities like an infirmary and a kitchen. There were two doors, one for KND and TND operatives, and one for teens looking to use us for our cover as the Fix It Gang.

The knock came from the cover entrance.

Jumping up, Wally ran to open the door. 

“Hiya! I’m Wally, and we’re the Fix It Gang! What can we do ya for?” he asked.

“Um, I’m Kuki Sanban? I was told you could help me get caught up on the curriculum?” Kuki stuttered out.

I waved. “Hi Kuki! You came to the right place!”

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my KND spotify playlist if you wanna take a listen: [KND Vibes.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/426HYMwrxGUYch92EM0Lcl?si=9QhI2_RTRIOmEdmgAAb6RQ)  
> [Check out my tumblr!](https://haljordanisbatman.tumblr.com/)


End file.
